The man is speaking French behind me and it is making me crave a latte and a crepe. I don't think a latte is a French item, but it just sounds good with a crepe.
This is the beauty of having a laptop-- well borrowing a friend's laptop while he and mi novio play Call of Duty. Either way I have the convenience of a laptop to write these thoughts down while simultaneously answering my own uncertainty--like the origin of the latte. Which I was able to look up right now in the middle of writing this to discover it is Italian. Figures. It seems like a Fascist kind of drink.
I'm Italian so maybe that's why I like Lattes. Does that also make me a Fascist? I would never identify myself as a Fascist. So I would like to formally state that I like lattes, but I am not, nor was ever, a Fascist.
My Great Grandfather was from Italy. Some small town I am not too sure of its name, but my cousin told me he was embarrassed of Mussolini. Which is a part of why I think my Grandmother (NONA) was so "Americanized". She was very proud to be an American and think some of that had to do with her Father being happy to be in America.
My Grandfather (TATA) too. He was a war Veteran and so were all of his brothers. I think my Tata's pride coupled with my Nona's was what made our family such Americanized- Mexicans.
Sometimes it’s weird to say I am Mexican because I don't really feel like what someone may call a "true" Mexican. To be in a Mexican family who upholds certain Mexican traditions with many American ones has had a huge impact on my identity. And not in a bad way, even though some may think that's bad. But I am here in AMERICA! Is it my fault if I am AMERICAN!? I also have a Caucasian Mother so I am probably more of a Colonizer than a Native and not by choice!
Some Mexicans may prefer me to be more Mexican, or it may make them angry, or I may be a "sell-out". To white people I may not be white enough for them or American enough--whatever one may be thinking. To either one I say--get over it! I have European and Mestizo in my blood and I'm American. I love what I am and I love my family. Although I have been confused with my identity my whole life I love every part of my ethnicity--however it may break down throughout my double helix.
I am somewhat suspicious that my ass is African.
Just sayin’...
[FUN FACT: My Tia Cha Cha, my Tata's baby sister, was born on the fourth of July.]
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
On days like these...
I wish I lived in Ireland. I want to frolick in the breathtaking hills. Its a recurring dream between me and my girlfriends. After seeing PS I Love You, we decided we MUST go to Ireland. I bet this picture doesn't even do the scenery justice, but at least a girl can look at it and dream.
Just sayin'...
You'll Be More Than Okay...
I have seen too many girls go through heart breaks and liars ( besides my own experiences) enough to understand the course bad relationships take, especially in the end. I'm sure there are some I haven't heard, but I know when a woman gets into a bad relationship, it can almost be sensed. It may even start off amazing, but once it turns sour, its seems like something is off.
Once you, or your friend get to that point, it can feel impossible to stop it. When its your friend you just want to shake her and rescue her, but you know you can't. You've been in her shoes before, and there is nothing you can physically do to control the situation. It just has to run its course.
The course ran as so...
It started as the best thing ever. It was different this time. He was so much more charming than all the other guys. It was the connection you guys had; the chemistry. The deep conversations and the way he looked at you. He was so easy to talk to and he opened up to you about real life issues. The birds seemed to fly more gracefully. The air of Southern California seemed so much less contaminated. You felt more alive than ever before. It was perfect. The way it should be.
Then everything changed. At first his suspicious acts came with excuses. Those excuses were there to cover up the truth, or just make the truth seem innocent. For example, you got a phone call from a girl who said she was his girlfriend -out of nowhere! She told you to stay away from him and blah blah blah. So you asked him about it and his excuse was, "My "ex" stole my phone and called you". "Ex", right? Then you believed it . How could this great guy lie about something like that? You think, "she must be another crazy ex-girlfriend. Poor guy, the girl is crazy. She just doesn't leave him alone." At this point, the suspiciousness will just get ignored and tucked away. Well, for the moment.
This keeps happening. He keeps lying and even if you blatantly catch him, you ignore that too. You go crying to your friend and then go back to him because you know he really is a great guy- when you're together everything is amazing. As a friend, one just has to be there to understand and let her make her own decisions. You can't force her to do anything because you know what its like.
When its over, we see that it was all happening, just as suspected. We feel played, but worse than that we blame ourselves for what we think we "let" a man do to us. Even if it was persistence that had us going back, we were so drawn to the allure that it combated our sense of logic. Being too emotional may be a contributor for some women, but many people get played. It is exciting when someone provides that enthralling mystery combined with extreme emotions. A bi-polar love.
POINT BEING! :
Do not let anyone make you feel worthless. Life happens and we all get drawn into temptation whether it be a relationship, or something else. We all have given in at one point. Its exciting. Its different. Its rebellious, even. We are only human. And women, we're humans, too! We make mistakes, or feel fooled, but we can't go around beating ourselves up about that.
At the same time, we don't have to let it happen again. Learn from the past. Holding onto it can hold you back. First, forgive yourself, forgive the person, then move forward. You are going to be somebody because you are amazing. No difficulties in your life can define who you are. You will be the one to create who you are and who you become.
You'll be more than okay, you're going to be stronger.
...
Once you, or your friend get to that point, it can feel impossible to stop it. When its your friend you just want to shake her and rescue her, but you know you can't. You've been in her shoes before, and there is nothing you can physically do to control the situation. It just has to run its course.
The course ran as so...
It started as the best thing ever. It was different this time. He was so much more charming than all the other guys. It was the connection you guys had; the chemistry. The deep conversations and the way he looked at you. He was so easy to talk to and he opened up to you about real life issues. The birds seemed to fly more gracefully. The air of Southern California seemed so much less contaminated. You felt more alive than ever before. It was perfect. The way it should be.
Then everything changed. At first his suspicious acts came with excuses. Those excuses were there to cover up the truth, or just make the truth seem innocent. For example, you got a phone call from a girl who said she was his girlfriend -out of nowhere! She told you to stay away from him and blah blah blah. So you asked him about it and his excuse was, "My "ex" stole my phone and called you". "Ex", right? Then you believed it . How could this great guy lie about something like that? You think, "she must be another crazy ex-girlfriend. Poor guy, the girl is crazy. She just doesn't leave him alone." At this point, the suspiciousness will just get ignored and tucked away. Well, for the moment.
This keeps happening. He keeps lying and even if you blatantly catch him, you ignore that too. You go crying to your friend and then go back to him because you know he really is a great guy- when you're together everything is amazing. As a friend, one just has to be there to understand and let her make her own decisions. You can't force her to do anything because you know what its like.
When its over, we see that it was all happening, just as suspected. We feel played, but worse than that we blame ourselves for what we think we "let" a man do to us. Even if it was persistence that had us going back, we were so drawn to the allure that it combated our sense of logic. Being too emotional may be a contributor for some women, but many people get played. It is exciting when someone provides that enthralling mystery combined with extreme emotions. A bi-polar love.
POINT BEING! :
Do not let anyone make you feel worthless. Life happens and we all get drawn into temptation whether it be a relationship, or something else. We all have given in at one point. Its exciting. Its different. Its rebellious, even. We are only human. And women, we're humans, too! We make mistakes, or feel fooled, but we can't go around beating ourselves up about that.
At the same time, we don't have to let it happen again. Learn from the past. Holding onto it can hold you back. First, forgive yourself, forgive the person, then move forward. You are going to be somebody because you are amazing. No difficulties in your life can define who you are. You will be the one to create who you are and who you become.
You'll be more than okay, you're going to be stronger.
...
"That's toot"...
Toot- when tight and cool are combined. Its a new phrase. Coined by your's truly. I think its fun to mix my food sometimes. Like mash potatoes, peas and steak in one bite, or rice, beans, sour cream and carne asada with Tapatio. So, I felt like, why not mix words too?
I'm just sayin'...
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Its About Time...
Women of America! I have something I need to get off my chest! I am tired ladies! TIRED! I am tired of all of you women not farting when you need to! Its time to let nature take its course- and its more than just that.
In other words, if I can't even look at a magazine and see that the ideal woman and I look alike, how can I be confident enough to let it rip in front of my soul mate? As a woman, where am I supposed to support a healthy and stable level of self confidence if my society doesn't foster it? If you're lucky, you'll find someone who accepts you for who you are, and understands how the human body works.
But Women…we're allowing societal norms to be constraining on a beautiful existence. We're sacrificing peace of mind and psychological freedom, and we're ignoring simple biology. If only we women could overcome the anxiety of passing gas in front of our significant others.
America needs to relax with it's ideas of gender image and expectations. Only more struggle and all kinds of psychological disorders have come from what we as a society expect from the opposite sex. AND Women in particular. In any case, equality is restrained by social norms and values. The only way to change how things already are, is to go against what is socially acceptable in this day and age. Thus, change is only possible in a society where the majority of the population is in favor.
I'm in favor. AND I say its time to relax, and fart in front of your man (or woman- I don't discriminate) if you feel like it, whenever, wherever….we're meant to be together? No Shakira.
I'm just sayin' !
In other words, if I can't even look at a magazine and see that the ideal woman and I look alike, how can I be confident enough to let it rip in front of my soul mate? As a woman, where am I supposed to support a healthy and stable level of self confidence if my society doesn't foster it? If you're lucky, you'll find someone who accepts you for who you are, and understands how the human body works.
But Women…we're allowing societal norms to be constraining on a beautiful existence. We're sacrificing peace of mind and psychological freedom, and we're ignoring simple biology. If only we women could overcome the anxiety of passing gas in front of our significant others.
America needs to relax with it's ideas of gender image and expectations. Only more struggle and all kinds of psychological disorders have come from what we as a society expect from the opposite sex. AND Women in particular. In any case, equality is restrained by social norms and values. The only way to change how things already are, is to go against what is socially acceptable in this day and age. Thus, change is only possible in a society where the majority of the population is in favor.
I'm in favor. AND I say its time to relax, and fart in front of your man (or woman- I don't discriminate) if you feel like it, whenever, wherever….we're meant to be together? No Shakira.
I'm just sayin' !
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